How a Trip to Mumbai Turned Hilarious

Absentmindedness is a sin, they say, but it turns out funny for me every time. I am fond of traveling and I can hit the road at any given chance. My office wanted me to be there in Mumbai for a month so that I can give presentations to our clients on various projects. I obviously did not have a problem with it, but I made a mistake. I chose to live with my friend rather than staying at a hotel, which meant I had to spend at least one additional hour on the messy roads of Mumbai. Anyway, I was prepared for it because I did not want to get bored every night in the city for one complete month.

I took the flight and reached my friend’s place in Andheri. I had taken a week’s leave so that I could prepare well for my presentations, but I would sneak out time to visit places in Mumbai. Every day, I woke up early in the morning, and worked for a few hours on my laptop. Once the peak rush hours were over, I would leave to roam around the streets of Mumbai. I did not want to miss this opportunity to explore a new metropolitan. Although I don’t like urban travel, I don’t mind wandering around new cities free of cost. I came back home in the evening so that I could spend some more time for work. Thankfully, I did not have to depend on the crowded local trains and I could take Self-Drive Car on rent Mumbai for my travel needs.

Anyway, coming back to the blunder that I did, I had to join office on the coming Monday and I was getting ready for work. I was late, by three minutes or more. It was important to reach office on time because I was supposed to give a lot of Powerpoint presentations. I raced down to the parking area and entered my car. However, I felt that the pockets of my pants were lighter than normal that day, and it dawned upon me that I had forgotten my phone in the room.

I did not have time to search it in the room, so I called my friend to look for it. His phone rang and he answered it. I told him that I had left my mobile in the flat, and he should look for it. He was surprised at what I said, but I interrupted him and said I was coming to pick the phone up.

He: Stop it Rohan, wait and listen to me. You are talking to me on your mobile phone!

I was flabbergasted!

Obviously that was the most stupid thing of my life. I started the car and rushed to office, though we shared tremendous laughter over my foolishness that night. Thank God, I had not asked him for my car keys after entering the car! He might have banned me from coming over his place again!

How My Trip to Chennai Turned Out Awful

There was just one mistake that I had made, but I had to pay a huge price for it when I was traveling to Chennai last month. I had made the mistake of choosing a wrong travel buddy, and she ruined my entire vacation in the new city. I had been waiting to go to Chennai since a long time, and when I could finally do it, I brought the misery on myself.

The incompatibility

I don’t know why but it never crossed my mind to check my like-mindedness with my friend, Shreya, on grounds beyond having a lunch together. We had met for a few hours many times before that vacation. Even though I felt that she was a little reserved, I did not mind going on a vacation with her. Now I realize that I should have spent at least a night with her at her place or mine to understand her habits. When were on our way to Chennai in train, I realized that she was an extremely lazy person who would never lift a finger to do her chores if she had someone to do them for her. I had to fetch water for her because she would convince me that she could not or did not want to go and buy it. I ended up being her mother on train who would take care of everything.

The budget issues

I prefer to save money wherever I can, yet I want to have a few luxuries at some times when I require them. I wanted to visit quite a few temples in Chennai, but using public transport for traveling is a pain in the city. Therefore, I offered to hire Self-Drive Cars in Chennai, but she blatantly refused to pitch in for it because it was an expensive option. Car hire would indeed put a little pressure on our pockets, but considering the amount we spent on auto-rickshaws and trains, it would have been only a little higher than that amount. It was not at all worth the inconvenience we had to face just to save a little money. We had realized that the private cabs and auto-rickshaws are way too expensive for the travelers in the city, but Shreya refused to budge from her opinion. At the end of every day, we would have sore feet! Was it all worth it? Not at all.

Even though I had a worse trip, I took my lessons that I need to choose my travel companions wisely. I need to spend much more time with them than I did with Shreya so that we all can understand each other better. There has to be a basic level of willingness to adjust with each other so that no one in the group feels offended. Regarding money, I need to know more about the inclination of people to pool in. In short, I will be careful for my future vacations so that I don’t end up ruining my precious time and money.

How Staying in Kolkata Taught Me Necessary Life Skills

You don’t have to be a scientist to understand that cooking is a necessary skill in life, yet men in India choose to ignore it. Thanks to my mother, and then my wife, who never said it even once to me that I should also know the basic culinary skills. My mother brought me up like a typical average man in the family who never needed to enter the kitchen, except when there were guests at home. I would help the ladies in the kitchen by serving food, water, and drinks. However, I would never bother to keep things in place when I entered the kitchen back after serving things.

Nevertheless, there is always a time in life when you have to learn things you always ignored, and this time came for me when I had to live in Kolkata for six months. Now my wife is a working woman, and we had our first baby when my company decided that I should shift to the capital city for a new project. Divya, my better half, could not come with me, but she helped me set up my new home in Kolkata.

Being vegetarian

I am a vegetarian, and that too a strict one. Now I had several presumptions whenever I had to eat at restaurants. I would always assume that my food is contaminated with meat or its gravy, and it would make me uncomfortable. I would not be able to eat in peace, no matter what. I would often complain about the eating problem to Divya, but never to Mom because she would ask me to come back on the next flight! I could not do that at all since I had my stakes and commitments in office.

Nevertheless, after ranting to Divya for 3-4 weeks, I decided that I would cook!

She was shocked at my statement, but she supported me. She said that she was not sure that I would be able to do it, but it was a good start for sure. She asked me if I wanted her to join again to set up a kitchen, but I refused. I told her that I would ask her for help over the phone if I could not manage.

I bought the necessary things the next day, established my new kitchen in the house, and showed the pictures to Divya. She was elated. After struggling at cooking basic daal, roti, and rice for a month, I finally succeeded, and invited her over for dinner. She did not take another minute to book her flight, came over, and we had a blast.

I made pulao for her, daliya for my daughter, and drinks to celebrate our get-together after weeks! I had already looked for Self-Drive Cars in Kolkata and booked one for a long drive after dinner. Needless to say that we had a blast that day. She stayed for three days and I did not let her cook, even once. Till date, she says that the time we spent in Kolkata was the most romantic time ever.

My Experience as a Foreigner in India

I went to India for the first time six years ago, which was to attend a learning program in Bangalore. After that, I have taken quite a few trips to the country, each of which has contributed to enhance my perception about India. During my last visit in Bangalore, I was volunteering as a teacher in a distant village. Wherever I went, kids and even adults would call me akka. They would point and stare at me, and some kids even followed me wherever I went. However, all these staring never made me uncomfortable because I had understood it quite early that these villages had never seen a foreigner in reality!

Well, this was not easy to grasp, but I had become habitual of these stares.

I would go to school, and every children in the school would beam up and shout, akka, in the loudest voice possible. The mother of one student once remarked that I looked like someone from the TV, maybe even more gorgeous than that. I had picked up a few Kannad words by then, and I felt immense gratitude towards that woman. People in India, I had heard, are sincere at heart. I would constantly witness there kind behavior every now and then.

The adults would often come to me and ask about my home, my husband, my studies, my salary, and my friends back home. Every person I met wanted to know about my life. After a few months in the village, one fellow-teacher pulled me aside and asked me,

“Why don’t you behave like other foreigners?”

That left me perplexed and I asked for further clarification. She said, “akka, I am surprised that you are American, and yet, you don’t smoke, drink, or consume drugs. You don’t go for late night hangouts, don’t have a boyfriend, and you don’t eat non-vegetarian food. You respect all of us, share our food, pay with children and teach them. You have already learned a bit of Kannad and you seem to be a decent person. You are like family to us now.”

I explained it to her that the smoking, drinking, and eating meat are considered right and wrong in different parts of the world. I don’t do any of it because it is my choice and that I prefer to live a simple life. I realized that she had made a perception about foreigners just as I had made the same about Indians. I helped to clear the stereotype image in her mind, and she was happy to hear my views.

When I had to leave from the village, had booked a Car Rental in Bangalore without driver. The entire village gave me a warm farewell, and a couple of villagers helped me reach the place to pick up the car. It was a profound moment for me as I said goodbye to those dear people. Although I may never visit them again, I will have their memories in my heart forever.

How I Helped My Father to Quit Smoking and Begin Travel

My father used to be addicted to smoking a couple of years ago. He tried to quit it many times, but maybe he failed because he was not determined to accomplish the task. However, mom had already warned him that he was caught smoking, at home or outside, she would not let him stay inside the house for the night. She was definitely a strict woman.

Now here is the catch. My father works from home, at night mind you, and he took immense benefit of his job timings. He would often go in the balcony, have a fag, and come back to his desk after he was done with his cigarette. I had seen him a couple of times smoking around three in the morning, but never dared to complain about him to mom. I knew that dad would have to sleep outside, maybe on the street, just because he dared to break a rule in the house.

Poor dad!

Then again, I also wanted to stop him from harming his health. And I got this chance one day. Last year, I was searching for a document in my room, but I could not find it. I thought it might be there in my parent’s room, so I went there. I lifted the bedding a little to search for that little piece of paper, which was my iPhone bill. I had to get my phone repaired, which was under warranty. Who would want to pay a hefty amount for a bit of service on the iPhone?

As I lifted the mattress, I found a huge pack of cigarettes very well hidden in one corner of the bed. Now I had one chance to make dad leave cigarette, at least for a night. And I would get a chance to use the non-smoky bathroom at least that day. I pocketed the packet, went out of home on the pretext of meeting a friend, and dumped the cigarettes in a public dustbin. I know my dad, he would have found them in the house, no matter where I hid them.

Now dad was frantically searching for something that night, but he could not say it to me. When I asked him what he was looking for, he said that he was looking for some crucial documents. I suggested him to look in the cupboard rather than under the bedding. He knew my wicked mind, but he did not say anything. He worked for the night with a sad face, and this went on for a month before he confronted me.

I told him that I had been throwing out the cigarettes every time he hid them in various places.

Dad: Why did you do that? I smoke only once a day.

Me: Dad, even if it is one fag a day, it is harmful for you. You need to stop it.

Dad: I am trying.

Me: You are not trying dad; you are fooling yourself and us.

He looked away and tried to find what to say next.

Dad: Okay, what do you want?

Me: You have been already off the cigarettes for more than a month now. I want you to give your daily expense of cigarettes to me. I will save it.

Dad: Ahaan! That’s an interesting suggestion. And what do you plan to do with that money?

Me: We will go for a trip with those huge savings.

Initially, he smiled at my suggestion, but gave in later. I booked a car hire in Bangalore for our trip to Coorg, and hence made it a norm in the house to save money from his cigarettes’ expense and travel.

How I Won Over an Auto-Rickshaw Driver in Chennai

When you are in Chennai, you have to be  prepared for a difficult time while commuting. So here I was in the city during summers for a few months. While dealing with the tough office life for an outsider, I had to cook for myself. I found it especially painful when I had to make every effort to live a decent life, especially when I was alone. I live in Mumbai with a roommate, and I do not have any complaint doing the household chores, just because I have the company of a friend.

Anyway, I had to drop a friend at the Chennai Central as he had a train to catch. The train was supposed to arrive late at night. By the time I got free, it was already 11 pm. I knew what I had to face when I went out. I would have to catch an auto-rickshaw to drop me home, and they would charge me an exorbitant amount. The auto-rickshaw drivers in Chennai are known for their notorious behavior with the locals, as well as, tourists.

Just what I had thought; there was a chain of vacant auto-rickshaws outside the gate of the railway station. They all looked at me as their potential prey, and I knew what was going to happen in the next few minutes. I had only 8% battery remaining in my phone, which was going to nosedive sooner than expected, thanks to Apple iPhone. Still, I went ahead and reached an auto driver.

Me: Anna, Navy Nagar. How much? [Brother, take me to Navy Nagar. How much?]

Driver: 300 Rs. Bhaiya [300 INR brother]

Me: Anna, 300 is too much. It is only 4 kilometers from here.

Driver: No. It is not close, it is far. First time in Chennai?

Me: I live here. I just came here to drop someone. Can you see any bags with me?

Driver: Okay. 200 last.

Me: I booked an Uber for 60 Rs. only while coming here.

Driver: I did not see any Uber here. 

(His confidence was remarkable)

I was getting too frustrated by then. I took out my mobile and tried to book a cab again. It was because of such drivers in the city that I always preferred to use Self-Drive Cars in Chennai for longer routes. Anyway, I tried to book a cab on the meager battery of my phone, which had dipped to 5% by then. The driver kept looking into my phone while I booked the cab. Suddenly, my phone got turned off.

Driver: Bhaiya, phone off ho gaya. Aajao. Pay 150 Rs. (There was a huge smirk on his face)

[Brother, your phone is off now. Come and pay 150 INR]

I chose to ignore him. My Uber arrived in a few minutes and I entered into it like a celebrity. I switched on my mobile (I had deliberately switched it off), rolled down the window, and showed the screen to the auto driver. I had to pay only 60 INR for the ride)

Now I had a huge grin on my face!

How My Dog Welcomed a New Member to the House

Dogs have much higher intuition than the humans. While everyone knows that dogs can sense things that are going to happen, it is still a miracle to witness any such incidence on your own. We had heard that dogs already know it when a lady in the house is pregnant. However, not many Indians keep dogs, especially when they have little kids in house, so we had never heard any story about a dog sensing a pregnancy.

We had a golden male Labrador who was very fond of all of us, and he loved playing with anyone who would come home. A week before I got to know that my wife was pregnant, King, the dog had started behaving much funnier than he was. He would be elated whenever he saw someone. He would roll on the floor and sit in my lap so that he can get a head massage. Although he had his designated bed to sleep, he would come between me and my wife every day to sleep for the entire week. He would embrace us like a baby and never stop licking us. We would have to hand-feed his food to him, at least his first bite, and only then he would eat the rest of his meal.

We were amazed at this sudden change in his conduct, but we realized it only a week later when we got to know that Riya, my wife, was pregnant. We realized that King already knew about the baby in Riya’s belly, which is why he never left her side since then. He would never stop licking her at any given chance. Whenever she would eat food, he would sit beside her. As she went for a shower, he would sit outside the bathroom as if he wanted Riya to come our safely and should not hurt herself in the bathroom. Every time, she would cook food in the kitchen, he would dance and rejoice outside the kitchen as if he is happy that the mother of the house is cooking food for him and the new baby.

The delivery

I did not want to trust the cabs in the traffic, so I had hired Self-Drive Cars in Bangalore and went to the hospital with Riya for her delivery. Around 4 am, my mom called from home and said that King had suddenly started barking at the door, but he seems cool. He was taking rounds around the house and jumping on the bed and sofa, and would not let her sleep. The moment my mom told this to me, I told her that King knows about the arrival of the new baby in the house.

Mom was elated at the news of the birth of a baby girl. As we got the baby home, King would never leave her side. He had got his sister in the house. That is when we again realized that dogs are actually much more intuitive than humans.