When I was growing up before the age of ten, I would ask my
parents that whom do they loved the most. They would always take each other’s
name, and I would feel sad about why they didn’t say that they loved me the
most. However, in my teens and early twenties, I realized that the married
Indian couples set the wrong examples for their children when they keep them on
priority and ignore each other for a long period of the married life. But my
family was different where Dad and Mom expressed their love openly and set the
right model of married life for me and my sister. In addition to our family
vacations, they would often go for couple vacations either with each other or
with other couple friends.
Now I see many people in my generation who keep their spouse
on top priority, and I resolved to do the same as well when I got married. In
the initial years, it was easy to find time for each other, but it became
increasingly difficult to spend quality time with each other with Myra tagging
with us all the time. After five years of marriage, I finally decided to talk
to Arun about it that we should go for vacations alone and leave Myra with her
grandparents for a day or two.
Spending quality time
Thankfully, he understood without any tussle about family
talks, and we went for our first road trip to Jodhpur. Unlike our family road
trips, we would talk endlessly about things we do in our office, plans for
career, and the things that make us happy. Our talks would not revolve around
family issues, the groceries we need to buy or the corners of the house that
need repair. All we would do is leg-pulling, abuse each other like we did
before marriage, and romance like teenagers. We both agreed that spending time
like this gives us better opportunities to express ourselves.
Setting examples for Myra
Just like my parents had set the right example for me, I
wanted to show Myra over the years that the bond of a husband and a wife is a
crucial one where we need to give importance to each other. When we went to a
family trip to Bangalore, my parents needed to stay at a friend’s place. Since
we had already spent a lot of time in Bangalore while attending a wedding, Arun
and I decided to go for a road trip to the nearby hills.
We hired a Self-Drive Car, took Myra along, and went ahead for two days to spend some time in the
pleasant weather of South India. When she saw us holding hands while sitting at
the mountainside, she asked Arun, “Papa, why are you holding Mom’s hand? Can
she not take care of herself? Will she fall if you don’t hold her?”
It was indeed very sweet listening to all those words from a
three-year old baby, who wanted to know more about holding hands. All she knew
that I held her hand while crossing the road or to protect her at other times.
I explained to her that when people grow up, they can hold
hands to express love for each other. She nodded her head at that time, but the
most gorgeous moment at that time came when she asked for my hand so that she
can embrace it. She did not leave me for good five minutes, got bored after
that, and went to Arun to ask for his hand!
Life lesson taught right, I guess!
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