How I Revitalized My Marriage over Road Trips

When I was growing up before the age of ten, I would ask my parents that whom do they loved the most. They would always take each other’s name, and I would feel sad about why they didn’t say that they loved me the most. However, in my teens and early twenties, I realized that the married Indian couples set the wrong examples for their children when they keep them on priority and ignore each other for a long period of the married life. But my family was different where Dad and Mom expressed their love openly and set the right model of married life for me and my sister. In addition to our family vacations, they would often go for couple vacations either with each other or with other couple friends.

Now I see many people in my generation who keep their spouse on top priority, and I resolved to do the same as well when I got married. In the initial years, it was easy to find time for each other, but it became increasingly difficult to spend quality time with each other with Myra tagging with us all the time. After five years of marriage, I finally decided to talk to Arun about it that we should go for vacations alone and leave Myra with her grandparents for a day or two.

Spending quality time

Thankfully, he understood without any tussle about family talks, and we went for our first road trip to Jodhpur. Unlike our family road trips, we would talk endlessly about things we do in our office, plans for career, and the things that make us happy. Our talks would not revolve around family issues, the groceries we need to buy or the corners of the house that need repair. All we would do is leg-pulling, abuse each other like we did before marriage, and romance like teenagers. We both agreed that spending time like this gives us better opportunities to express ourselves.

Setting examples for Myra

Just like my parents had set the right example for me, I wanted to show Myra over the years that the bond of a husband and a wife is a crucial one where we need to give importance to each other. When we went to a family trip to Bangalore, my parents needed to stay at a friend’s place. Since we had already spent a lot of time in Bangalore while attending a wedding, Arun and I decided to go for a road trip to the nearby hills.

We hired a Self-Drive Car, took Myra along, and went ahead for two days to spend some time in the pleasant weather of South India. When she saw us holding hands while sitting at the mountainside, she asked Arun, “Papa, why are you holding Mom’s hand? Can she not take care of herself? Will she fall if you don’t hold her?”

It was indeed very sweet listening to all those words from a three-year old baby, who wanted to know more about holding hands. All she knew that I held her hand while crossing the road or to protect her at other times.

I explained to her that when people grow up, they can hold hands to express love for each other. She nodded her head at that time, but the most gorgeous moment at that time came when she asked for my hand so that she can embrace it. She did not leave me for good five minutes, got bored after that, and went to Arun to ask for his hand!

Life lesson taught right, I guess!

Road trips are indeed great to make memories and learn things.

My Experience of a Road Trip from Kashmir to Kanyakumari

Driving all the way from the top of India to the bottom of the country was a tough decision indeed. I had to drive alone throughout the way and it was certainly lonely at times. Here I must admit that I am a fiercely independent person and a self-governing traveler who does not like to depend on anyone for anything. Even though I wished that I had company during my road trip for a few moments, but if I compare the pros and cons of not having a companion, the pros always win. The problem with driving with two or more people is that you have to adjust with other people, which I cannot do all the time. Therefore, I began and concluded my road trip on my own.

During the entire course of the solo drive, I would be in the car from morning until evening. I would eat whenever I felt hungry. I would stop whenever I felt tired and exhausted. I would pull over the car whenever I wanted to click a picture. Had it been a bike ride, I would have certainly felt more tired. However, since I had taken a Self-Drive Car Rental, the journey was indeed more convenient though expensive.

In Himachal

I met a traveler in a village in Himachal who was riding a bike from there to Mumbai. He had already completed one side of his journey and had already resumed his return trip. We talked endlessly for two hours, and drove simultaneously the next day. Although the drive was interesting, it became a little too much for me to adjust according to the stops he wanted to take. Whenever he felt hungry, perhaps all I wanted was to drive. Whenever I felt tired, he wanted to go for some sightseeing. Since we both were solo travelers, we understood that we could not carry on our concurrent road trip. We parted ways and I swooshed to continue my independent journey.

Know thyself

It is no hidden fact that a solo trip lets you know yourself. While driving on this road trip, I got to know about a lot of my weaknesses and strengths. I found out ways to improve as a person because every day teaches something new when you meet so many people. I met an old lady in her 70s who could not walk, but sold bananas every day to make her ends meet. She had no one in the house to earn for her, so she would come out of the house every day on her crutches and spend her day selling bananas.

When I bought a few bananas from her, I did not have change money. Although I did not want to embarrass her, I had to tell her that I did not have 50 INR change. She asked me about the rupee note that I had, to which I replied that I had a 2000 INR note. She cheerfully said that a group of young boys had handed over a 500 INR note in the morning itself, so she would manage the rest of the money for me.

My heart broke when I saw that those clever fellows had fooled her with the counterfeit 500 INR note. She gave it to me, I looked at her, and I could not resist warning her. I secretly kept the note inside my wallet and jokingly said that fake notes are exchanging hands in the market and that she should be careful. She asked for more and I explained to her how she could differentiate between real and fake notes.

How I Manage the Challenges of Solo Travel

While the challenges of solo travel do put me off sometimes, I do not intend to quit this form of traveling anyway. I have realized that everything we choose in life comes with pros and cons, and so is the case with solo and group travel both. You cannot control the challenges both forms of travel offer. That is why; I prefer to deal with the challenges of solitary vacations rather than group travel.

Dealing with heavy bags 

I am not a typical solo backpacker who travels with minimum stuff. In fact, I like to pack everything I use at home for my daily needs, including a travel iron. I cannot stand crumpled or unwashed clothes, which implies there many choices of garments in my luggage. I also like to pack various toiletries in small bottles, my towel, a couple of shoes, books, power bank, documents, and anything that comes to my mind. However, it means that I have to be prepared to deal with the challenge of keeping my things secure at public places, especially when I have to use the washroom. I have rarely asked a stranger to look after my luggage when I have to go to a bathroom urgently. I try to relieve myself whenever I get a chance even if I do not feel the urgent need of it. It has helped me escape many embarrassing situations when my luggage is not in safe hands.

Stay at one place 

My thumb rule of traveling alone on public transport is that I book only one hotel for my entire stay in a hill station, even if it means I have to travel more to visit places. It saves me the hassle of carrying my luggage around and I don’t have to drag it unnecessarily. Staying in one hotel also lets me haggle for some discount for single occupancy room at times. I have also stayed at traveler hostels to save money. For going around different places, I like it better to use public transport with just a small backpack that contains my essentials. Yet, it I have the budget for a Self-Drive Car hire, I can book multiple hotels in just one vacation since there is no trouble carrying my luggage in the car.

Clicking photos

Since I don’t like selfies, it is certainly a pain to ask strangers to click photos for me. And for such a photo freak that I am, I do not feel satisfied if the photo does not turn out well. I would pester the same person again, or another stranger, if I have to, and ask them to take the pain for me. I have heard many solo travelers complaining about this aspect of vacationing alone that they cannot get photos to their hearts content because they do not have a friend along. And nagging strangers for the same does not look good. My reply to such friends is that you have to be a little shameless to get that perfect shot at the beach or the mountaintop. What else would you do? Come home and regret that you did not have the courage to ask someone? Never!

Eating alone

Dining out alone is also another annoying aspect of solo travel at times, but not always. I like to eat in peace and watch people indulged in jokes with their families. Whenever I feel like having a meal with someone, I try to strike a conversation with a kid or the parents.

Solo travel in India is a dynamic experience that lets me explore different people and places. Despite the trials it throws in my face, I would continue traveling alone, no matter what!

How I learned new things while traveling in India

Even though I am born and brought up in a small town in India, I did not realize the importance of a few things in life until I started traveling. When I went for my first trip to Haridwar, I did not like the crowded Har ki Paudi, where thousands of people were taking baths at the banks of river Ganga. However, I happened to visit the same holy Indian city again, but we went to a different ghaat that time, and I realized what they call offbeat travel. At that secluded ghat or the riverbank, we could take bath in peace in the pleasantly cold water of the river, sit there for as long as we wanted, and then return to the famous Har ki Paudi to witness the Ganga Aarti. Just because everyone goes to the same tourist place in a famous city does not mean that I also have to do the same.

In the recent times, I keep hearing about offbeat travel, which tells people to go to lesser known places. I smile at such articles when I remember that second visit to Haridwar. While traveling to different cities in India, I try to stay away from things and places that attract a majority of tourists. This is how I am able to explore a lot more about every city. I had heard a lot about Kasol, for example, but I found the place very disappointing as I reached there. It might have been a smoker’s heaven a few years ago, but the place is highly commercialized now. On the other hand, rather than wasting my time in the markets and cafés of Kasol, we hiked ahead to Tosh, where we found the peaceful environment we were looking for.

The same thing happened with my visit to Neemrana this year. When I was looking for hotels in Neemrana, the rooms in the fort palace were skyrocketing, and were certainly not worth the price. So I researched ahead and looked for accommodations nearby because I could not spend more than a night on that vacation. I finally found a hill fort palace in Alwar, the price of which was decent, and I enjoyed my outing with my wife to the core. It was worth spending every penny on that trip because Alwar is a place that does not attract thousands of tourists. Hence, it is not too expensive, still untouched, and people are really humble and nice. What else would you ask for in a weekend getaway when I could quickly rent a car without driver, reach my destination within four hours, and return the next day to Delhi.

Indian villages and small towns have always been my priority when it comes to vacationing. When I got a chance to visit Ujjain, I could not control my curiosity. This ancient city had been on my list of places to visit since a long time. So I prepared a list of the temples I could visit in my two days of stay in Ujjain, took recommendations from a neighborhood friend, and just set off on my road trip to the religious city in Madhya Pradesh. The Ram Mandir ghaat happened to be my favorite place among all mandirs.

The thumb rule of traveling for me is to select untouched places where not many people would want to go. Even if I find a few tourists at such places, they are like-minded people with whom I can discuss the topics of same interest. Once I am done exploring India, I will move ahead to foreign destinations.

How Traveling Around India Made Me Smarter

I had always heard that travel helps in developing one’s personality, which I never believed until I took my first solo trip. Having read a lot of posts about positive things in life, I had to overcome my pessimistic side. It was high time that I started looking at the bright side of things, people, and places because I had started feeling too gloomy. Things that gave happiness to people made me worried. Finally, I decided to go for a solo road trip and then group trips, lots of them. Let me share how travel changed a naysayer into an optimist.

Not comparing myself

Before I went out of Mumbai, I always used to think of the bigger car my colleague has, the diamond rings on the hand of my sister, and the posh house of my neighbor. No matter how hard I tried to ignore all these materialistic possessions people had, I would always find myself feeling awful about not having them, even though I lead a decent lifestyle. While traveling around Kerala, I saw the happiness on the faces of deprived kids. People in the villages had very little compared to what I had, but they did not want to have anything from me. Not even once I heard them saying that my watch was glittering or my car was looking so good. On the other hand, I had heard myself talking like that to myself and others. Those scenarios in Kerala and many other naturally beautiful places taught me that there was no use comparing my life to that of others because there will always be someone richer or poorer than me.

Getting out of the comfort zone

Staying in a campsite near Pune taught me to survive outside my comfort zone. At that place, we did not have proper toilets, water was scarce and very expensive, food choices were not there, and we had limited clothes with us. Until that vacation, I had always stayed in hotels, traveled in a Self-Drive Car Rental or a friend’s car, and ate at restaurants while carefully selecting from an assortment of foods. However, staying in the camp taught me that I should not take my possessions for granted and I learned to find bliss out of my comfort zone, which was my office and home.

Not being lazy

Travel is not cheap, and that I knew already. Perhaps that is why; I never went for a vacation for so many years of my job life. Thanks to my friend, Rohan, who pushed me to travel with him because he did not have company. We went to Indonesia, which was certainly expensive, and we could not afford to sleep in the hotel rooms. Rohan was very excited about visiting each place marked on his itinerary, and I had to comply because we had limited time in hand. We made the best use of our days and nights in that gorgeous country, and returned home with our phones loaded with photos. Looking back at those memories, I thank myself for not being too lazy to move beyond the beaches.

The best thing that travel has taught me is that I should never doubt my capabilities. I used to spend a lot of time thinking negatively about the things that I wanted to accomplish, but hesitated to even begin. I always wanted to learn dance, but I thought that I would not be able to move my body.  Traveling to Kerala gave me the confidence to dance and I enrolled in the classes as soon as I returned. This is a good number of accomplishments, for sure, and many more to come.

Things I Learned on My First Visit to Bangalore

Even though I had never thought about living in Bangalore, life took me there in the beginning of 2018, and it was a mix of sweet and sour memories. The best part about this city is that Bangalore is full of vigor and joyful people. On the other hand, the worst part is that you cannot bear the traffic situation here. The roads are too narrow to bear the huge number of vehicles on the road.

Thankfully, I had to spend only a month in Bangalore, so I used to take everything in a happy stride and be cheerful about things. Having said that, I cannot blame people for cribbing about a few things about their metropolitan life in Bangalore because they were absolutely right in their place. I, being a traveler, understand that problems tend to magnify when you have to face them again and again.

Since I am quite comfortable in the English language, I did not face any problem in communicating with people. A few people that I had met while traveling, though had a problem with the locals never speaking in Hindi. The local residents here speak either English or Kannad, their mother tongue.

Once, I had to go to the Cubbon Park, which was a few kilometers of distance from the mall where I was. So I tried to board an auto-rickshaw, but could not find one. I asked a guy standing beside me waiting for an auto as well; he responded that finding an auto in Bangalore is sheer luck. Sometimes, they come and at other times, they would just never cross your way. It was a brilliant thought for my mind, and I thought that it is better not to rely on the auto-rickshaw drivers for traveling.

I asked the same man about the alternatives to traveling around, to which he said that I should hire a cab or a car rental Bangalore, the latter of which is the better option because I did not have to depend on a driver to come. I cannot thank that guy enough for his valuable suggestion because having a car ready to drive anywhere I wanted saved a lot of time, even though I had to bear the traffic at times. But at least, I did not have to wait forever for a cab or an auto-rickshaw to come.

In my short stint in Bangalore, I visited the old places like Bangalore Palace, Vidhana Souda, Cubbon Park, and Lalbagh to witness the glory of olden times. Additionally, I visited the new constructions such as unique restaurants, high-end hotels, IT companies, and multiplexes. It was certainly an interesting vacation plus work stint in Bangalore, about which I have fond memories.

I also went to Coorg, which is just a few kilometers from Bangalore, and it was a mesmerizing vacation for sure. I got to know a lot about coffee plantations, and I can never thank the polite locals of Coorg. I think I would go to Bangalore again, given a chance because there is a lot more left to explore around this city.

How I Explained Eating Food with Hands to a German Traveler

Being and Indian, what would you do when someone tells you that you are too primitive to eat with bare hands? I would eat the person alive!

Just kidding!

If I am friends with the foreigner, I just google the advantages of eating with bare hands, and forward the link to him or her. However, if I have met someone from another country for the first time, I politely wipe off my hands and explain in brief about the benefits of eating with hands.

The same happened with a German companion of mine with whom I happened to have a formal dinner in Delhi. This guy, Heinz, happened to meet me from office, and I was supposed to take him for an Indian dinner. So I decided to rent a car in Delhi without driver so that I can show places around, and take him to the best place to have a sumptuous Indian meal.

We met around 6 pm, and I asked him if he would like to eat first or roam around and then come back for dinner. He chose the latter option, so we drove around Connaught Place for a while. He liked the vibrant atmosphere of the place and he mentioned that he loved the way people were cheerful in general.

Then, we went to have dinner around 8 pm to a Punjabi restaurant that I knew served mouth-watering meals. I ordered relatively less spicy food that day because I felt that Heinz might not be comfortable with typical Punjabi food that may blow smoke out of his ears.

As the Tawa Chicken and Butter Naan arrived, my mouth started watering. The waiter served the meal for us onto our plates. I saw the confusion on Heinz’s face as he waited for me to begin eating. I gorged into the naan and chicken, of course with my hands, while ripping off the meat from the chicken bones. He was dumbstruck at my perfection of using bare hands, which explained why I had gone to wash them right before the food arrived.

He asked why I was eating that way. I was expecting this to come, and I explained to him that eating with exposed hands without using a plastic glove was the ancient Indian culture. It gives you an idea of the temperature of the food, lets you realize the texture of bread and curry, and helps in mindful eating.

I don’t know whether I could explain to him well or not, but he excused himself to wash hands. When he returned to the table, he asked me to demonstrate the way of eating. Thankfully, he was an open-minded German friend, with whom I happened to go for several road trips in and around Delhi. The only reason I could really befriend him was his open-mindedness. Had he been too judgmental about the Indian mannerism, he would have him distanced from every Indian in the country.