How I began traveling the world on my own after 50

India is a place where women are taught to follow their husband’s footsteps, even when you are a successful working women. I have been in the workforce since the age of 22 years, but I followed the traditionally laid down path of an Indian woman. I got married at 29, had a baby by 31, and had my second baby by 34. It drained out all my energy, physically and mentally, to bring up that family and provide my husband and kids with all that they needed, all of that while being a working woman. It was only when I crossed 45 years of age that I started feeling the itch for spending time with myself. Living for others had already taken a lot of time of my living on the planet.

I discussed traveling at least 5-6 times a year with my husband, but he didn’t have any such plans. He was content at living the regular family life, but the good part is that he encouraged me to explore myself. He didn’t stop me from traveling on my own, and told me to get rid of the stigma of being too old for solo travel. His words were quite a boost to my confidence, and I was back to my original self in just one day.

No one in the world can be a better companion than your spouse, and my husband proved it right. As soon as he knew that I want to be on my own, he started telling my kids not to taunt or discourage me for going out alone. Rishi and Kanika, my adorable babies had grown up so quickly, and they became elated at the thought that it was so cool for their mom to go for a solo trip.

Rishi booked two self-drive cars in Delhi and Dehradun respectively so that I can travel comfortably to the hills, and explore my driving skills at the same time. Even though I told him that I may not be able to drive on the hills after so many years, he reminded me that he had seen me driving on the roads of Shimla when he was 5 years old. Even though Dad was constantly poking his nose while I was driving at that time, he said he remembered how he had scolded dad not to disturb me while driving. And it was only after that moment that my husband had sat quietly and Rishi enjoyed sitting in the front seat with me.

Kanika found the best camps for me in Tosh, and they all gifted me a bottle of wine that I could enjoy when I sat with myself. At that moment, I realized that my little kids had grown really mature and they were truly a family anyone would want. It was just one trip alone to manali and tosh, driving all the way on my own, that I actually began my traveling expedition for many years to come. And now it has been 10 years that I have been traveling solo without worrying about home or office.  

How I Found the Knack of Making Friends While Traveling

Even I don’t believe myself when I look back and realize that I used to be such a shy person. I was an absolute introvert and unquestionably happy about it. However, I always knew that no one knew about my existence and people would conveniently ignore me while taking group photographs. Whenever everyone in office went for lunch, they would not ask me to join them because I was working on my laptop. But hey, I do eat right! I feel hungry too. And I like talking to people as well.

But let me admit, I would talk to people only when they approached me. I have made a few really good friends from school and college, but they are equally introverts like me. Nevertheless, I was tired of this insignificant existence, and I wanted to change myself. And here I was, I began transforming my personality with my solo trips.

Yes, solo trips, where people who talk too much seek solitary time. Solo travelers are often quiet beings who talk to someone only when they want or need to, but my agenda of going around places on my own was to transmute myself.

Looking at people

I had read and realized it many times that there is a difference in looking at people and staring at them, regardless the gender. Therefore, the first step was to make a positive eye contact with people, which was the quality that I lacked. So I thought of practicing it when I was in office, restaurant, malls, and everywhere else. I would look at people and wait for them to look back. As soon as I made an eye contact with them, I would smile at them. Since it is difficult to look at women in India, I had to be very careful about the opposite gender. Whenever I smiled at a woman, I had to make sure that I was poised enough to strike a conversation to explain myself, if required.

Greeting people

A group of travelers was once talking about the best Self Drive Car Rental in Delhi, and I got interested. So I went to them and greeted them while passing by as I picked up my coffee from the counter. One of the members of that group came to the counter when I was standing there again, I greeted him with a smile. He was very receptive, and I talked to him about the Car Rental experience in India. It was great to know about the new concept of this mode of transportation. Although it was a deliberate attempt from my side to hold on the conversation for a couple of minutes, it felt like I had dropped off a huge burden from my shoulders. I had never talked to a stranger for that long time until that moment, and it felt like a great achievement.

The key take away from my experience from being an introvert to an ambivert is that I should never underestimate myself. At least now I don’t think of my capabilities and looks as any less than those of any other person I meet. Once a doctor told me that she may be good at remembering complex names, but she cannot remember simple names of people she meets. She often meets many patients and people in her professional life, which requires a lot of public dealing, but she forgets the names of people. When a highly qualified person like her is aware of her weaknesses and strengths, I found myself reassuring myself that I too have a few strengths in me, even if there are a few weaknesses. Recognizing my potential has helped me a lot in transforming my persona.